DFP 7 | Self Love

Self Love: The Source of Your True Power

DFP 7 | Self Love

 

The most important relationship is the relationship with self. Self-love is truly your superpower. It is at the root of everything that you want in your life, whether it’s to feel amazing in your body, your mind, or your spirit, or to have the relationships that you truly want to cultivate. You can only love another as much as you love yourself. If you’re consistently shaming yourself or pushing away the love for yourself because of an old story, then you aren’t going to be able to fully begin to open up and love someone else. If you’re denying yourself love, then you’re blocking the flow of others love to you as well. Learn how you can have full acceptance for who you are, where you are, and where you’ve been to truly allow yourself to feel the abundance of bliss and joy that each and every single one of us is capable of feeling.

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Self Love: The Source of Your True Power

I’m here to talk to you about wellness and relationships. With that being the most important relationship is the relationship with the self. Self-love is truly your superpower, anyone’s superpower. We’re able to create this community and this conscious conversation. This conscious conversation can go in many different directions. It all depends on how you show up and how you choose to comment or not some of your own experiences. We’re going to talk about self-love and this is a juicy topic. I know that many of us automatically can see the value in self-love, which is truly your superpower. I was going to talk about something around intimacy and intimidation because I feel like this is another topic that I will bring up maybe in a later episode. I got off the phone with a client and they were talking about having these expectations around what their body needs to be like.

I don’t know how many of you can relate around having this expectation of how you think you need to be. Whether that’s how you think you need to perform or whether that’s how you think you need to look, specifically when it comes to how we think we need to look. What this client had said to me was, “I have been working through a lot of this idea of a body image of what I feel that I need to look like. It’s been since college that I felt this pressure to look a certain way.” She’s in her 60s now. Can you imagine carrying 40 years of this idea of not being something that you think you need to be and how much lack of self-compassion and self-love can be had in that? You’re not beating yourself up all the time, but this is something that truly rules the majority of us.

I was hosting a Men’s Circle and we were talking about intimacy. We were talking about shame. It’s very well-known that women deal with body shame and body image issues yet so too do our men. There’s a lot of body shame that happens in the community of men. Yet we don’t see it because they’re not “allowed” here to express their emotions and to talk about what has happened in their lives and some of the body shaming that has happened between brothers. This idea of body shaming truly comes from self. It truly comes from our judgments of ourselves.

Knowing that we didn't fully show up for ourselves is what pains us the most. Click To Tweet

We’re in a detox program. Many people who are in this community are doing the 21-day system reset detox with me. They’re already starting to feel a lot better physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically. We talked about self-love and the aspect of how I let go of some shame that I’ve been carrying with me for so long, whether that is body shame or career shame. Another client I was with had shared with me that he had a lot of shame around how he has treated people in business relationships, friendships, and everything else. Now he has to carry that on his heart. I’m sure that if we all were to sit and think about is there an area of resistance or an area that we feel shame around, we could probably come up with something.

I wanted to talk about this because I truly do believe that self-love is your superpower and self-love is at the root of everything that you want in your life, whether it’s to feel amazing in your body, your mind or your spirit or to have the relationships that you truly want to cultivate. You can only love another as much as you love yourself. If you’re consistently shaming yourself or pushing away the love for yourself because of an old story, then you aren’t going to be able to fully begin to open up and love someone else because there will be judgment. There will be judgment around how that person is showing up, how they’re acting and how they’re showing up for themselves or not in your eyes. It is truly a reflection of how you believe you are or are not showing up in your own life.

As we begin to dive deeper into this topic, one of the things that is pivotal is how do we get over this shame in whatever aspect or area. Whether it’s physical, mental, emotional aspects of our old selves that we were not the highest and best versions of ourselves so we didn’t show up fully in our relationships or weren’t that good of a person at a period in times of our lives. At the root of any lack of self-love, it’s not the physical manifestation that pains us the most. Let’s say if it’s weight gain or if it’s the pain of hurting someone else. Although those things are uncomfortable and may be painful, what it truly is, where the root of our pain lies, is knowing that we didn’t show up fully for ourselves. Knowing that we didn’t fully show up for ourselves is what pains us the most. When we’re showing up authentically for ourselves and we’re eating the ways that we know truly serve our body.

DFP 7 | Self Love
Self Love: In order to have self-love, we must cultivate compassion for where we are right now and everything we’ve been through, everything we have become based upon our past circumstances and situations.

 

Let’s take the example of body shame. When we’re nourishing our body with healthy foods, when we’re sleeping well, when we are allowing ourselves to get a good rest and time to ourselves, whether that’s journaling or yoga or meditation, we’re much less concerned with the external. We know that what we’re doing, how we’re showing up is enough. That we’re waking up, that we’re showing up. In showing up for ourselves, we know that that is good enough. Therefore, that not enough story can’t linger because truthfully, we know that we’re serving ourselves at the end of the day. If there is any shame or if there is any resistance in your lives, chances are it’s because deep down you knew that you didn’t show up fully for yourself speaking your full truth, eating or moving your body in the way that you know that your body is desperately asking to be fed or nourished or moved.

Self-love, being the true strength and the true power, it’s understanding that number one, in order to have self-love, we must have compassion. We must cultivate compassion for where we are right now and everything we’ve been through, and everything we have become based upon our past circumstances and situations. In that place of practicing compassion, that means we oftentimes need to create space for us to feel, oftentimes feel the pain that we’ve caused in our own lives or in the lives of others. The compassion piece to this is so important because it will not serve you if you go back to the pain that you’ve caused inside yourself or the pain that you’ve caused for others and are feeling again more pain in the present. This is where our compassion piece is so incredibly important. In order to heal, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional pain, we truly have to feel because what happens is this energy gets stuck. We are taught in our society to repress our emotions, to push it down, not to feel it.

In this pushing down and not feeling it, we’re burying it and this energy that is wanting to be expressed, wanting to be accepted, whether it’s pain, anger, fear, even hatred, lower vibration, emotion, whatever’s happening there, it just wants to be felt. If we can learn to train our mind not to feel something and attach something negative or positive to it, then we can let go of expectations of what is good and what is bad. In doing that, we can cultivate self-acceptance. In self-acceptance, we begin to cultivate self-love and in that, also compassion.

When we have more compassion for ourselves, we have more compassion for others. Click To Tweet

I invite you to feel into this concept of self-love and maybe where you’re holding yourself back or telling yourself that you don’t deserve self-love. What was the experience or what area or aspect of your life are you denying yourself love? Here’s the thing, if you’re denying yourself love, if you’re blocking yourself from love, then you’re blocking the flow of others’ love to you as well. Having full acceptance for who you are, where you are and where you’ve been is so incredibly important when it comes to truly allowing ourselves to feel the abundance of bliss and joy that each and every single one of us is capable of feeling.

Thank you all for joining me on this Wellness Wednesday, wellness in relationships. Cultivating the best relationship with yourself is truly one that is rooted in compassion, one that is rooted in acceptance. Through compassion and acceptance, we can have more self-love. Through that self-love, we can stop shaming and stop blaming. Our barriers between self and other begin to collapse. When we have more compassion for ourselves, we have more compassion for others. In that piece, in that space of compassion, we can create a truly authentic connection, a connection that is perfect the way it is and not needing to be anything else. In that space, we can begin to come back together as one and that’s where the source of our love truly is. Then this connection of seeing yourself inside the other, we’re seeing that God is within you.

If those of you have anything that you’d like to share, please feel free to put it in the comments below. When you heal yourself, you will see a huge difference in every aspect of your life, all relationships, romantic business, friends. We stop blaming. We stop projecting. Anything that you think is going on wrong outside you is truly a reflection of you. That might be hard, there might be a lot of resistance to that and there might be a lot of not wanting to accept that but when we accept that, then we have empowerment. When we feel empowered, we can change something. How many of you want to feel stuck? Probably not a lot of you. We all want to feel that we have the ability to change that which we no longer desire. If we continue to pass the blame on others and project onto others because we haven’t done our own inner work, then we’re only going to continue to have the same issues come up again and again and again.

It’s a practice. It’s important to have compassion in this practice. To have self-awareness, to cultivate self-awareness is truly key when it comes to transforming the reality that we are creating. When we wake up, when we become conscious beings, when we become consciously aware that everything we think, everything we do, everything we touch, everything we say, all of it is a vibration that is then being reflected back to us, we accept ownership. In that ownership, we accept responsibility. In that responsibility, we have compassion and in that compassion, we can let go. We can let go of all those things that no longer serve us and bring more of that which truly does serve us. This is the practice. Thank you so much for joining and I will see you again. I hope you join for the conscious conversation. If this resonated with you, I love your shares as always. If you like the show, I love your ratings and your reviews. Please feel free to drop a line. It helps more people see it and this conscious community can continue to grow. I appreciate all who have joined us. Thank you.

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