DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity

Reclaiming Masculinity: Abolishing Shame

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity

 

Many people would not think about the thought of reclaiming masculinity. In the first place, did we ever lose it? Dive deep into the concept of masculinity and what it really means. Redefining it, learn as you bring up the many ways you can move towards your heart center. Know that masculinity is not exclusive to men. Everyone is capable of exuding this masculine energy and it takes a great acknowledgment to be able to go beyond the conventions of its meaning. Create a balance with the masculine and feminine energy. Find the power you could hold when you reclaim the masculinity within yourself and abolish the shame that comes with it. It’s not about gender. We all have the divine masculine and feminine within and all we have to do is tap into those and liberate ourselves.

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Reclaiming Masculinity: Abolishing Shame

When I got this message that I felt was coming through to me to speak about masculinity and to stand up for our men, it was a couple years ago and I ignored it. I kept ignoring it. There were different ways that men would come to me whether they were my friends or people that I had just met and they would start to open up to me about things that were happening for them and about experiences that they have had in their life. I kept getting this message to hold space for men, and I kept pushing it away. There were a lot of insecurities that had come up for me. I keep getting this message and finally having moved back to the US and being in this area right next to the Bay Area and right next to San Jose, I’m feeling called more and more to step into speaking about something that’s moving through to me.

When you hear reinventing or reclaiming masculinity, I would love to know what comes up for you. I wanted to talk about this subject and it’s a very dense subject. There’s a lot of matter to it. I wanted to be able to pull a lot of things in. What comes out for you when you hear the word or the title reclaiming masculinity? The question of reclaiming masculinity is, did we ever lose it? Why did the topic only become one-sided? I would love to hear a little bit more about that. What comes up for you when there is this reclaiming masculinity when there is this topic? I realized that this topic is going to be something that might trigger people automatically. It might make people be like, “What do you mean reclaiming?” I also realize I want to call the elephant in the room that here I am a woman speaking about masculinity, and especially reclaiming masculinity.

Whoever’s here when you read this, what comes up for you? Remember that there is no right or wrong. The intention of this episode is to create a conscious conversation. Whether you’re male or female or anywhere in between, you’re invited. I invite you. I hope that you participate in this conversation. I believe that this idea of masculine and feminine in our world are being talked about and tossed around a lot. There is something when it comes to masculinity that I wanted to dive a little bit deeper on and that is my intention. The intention is to dive a little bit deeper into the idea or the concept of masculinity. What is it and what does it mean? Did we ever lose it? I would love to talk about that. Why did I choose the title, Reclaiming Masculinity?

There’s been a lot of conversation lately around unwounding the masculine. We can start back to where I feel there became this diversion between masculine and feminine, which was around when the #MeToo Movement happened. In this time and past times, masculinity is not balanced. Let’s talk about this #MeToo Movement. This #MeToo Movement I believe became very one-sided. I think it was an incredibly powerful movement. I think that it was able to shine a light on a lot of areas and a lot of topics that hadn’t previously been talked about. When we’re talking about this #MeToo Movement and we’re talking about how there’s this patriarchy, the way that men are treating a woman is not okay. There are a lot of things that were going on and finally, a bunch of women came out and said, “This happened to me.” It shed light on the dark side of masculinity.

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity
Reclaiming Masculinity: It’s not about you being better than me. It’s about us being different.

 

It’s the dark side of what can happen when there is this dominance type of style of behaving or what we’ve allowed to claim to be masculine. To be masculine I’d love to ask you, what does it mean? In this society, when you hear the word masculine, with our own ideas of what we want it to be, what comes up for you? Anyone who’s here, what comes up for you when you hear masculine? For me personally, I think strong and disciplined. I think of structure. I think of maybe even sometimes of force. I’m curious what we’ve come up for you when you hear the word masculine. When we come to this idea of moving into defining the terms masculine and feminine, this is something that I think is important when it comes to actually move forward with this conscious conversation.

Having direction having focus, having structure, having stability, having strength all of those things come up for me when I hear masculine. Testosterone is more of a male dominant although we all have testosterone of course. It’s more of a male dominant hormone. Absolutely, focus determination, “I’m going to get there. I’m going to make it happen.” Brute force, strength. All of these things are defining this idea of masculinity. I think it’s important to bring out the fact that masculine doesn’t have to just do with men.

It doesn’t just have to do with males. There is masculine energy, this focus, this drive, this leading, this taking charge, this structure, there is also that when it comes to females as well. However, these masculine traits have been idolized when men exude this. They’ve been almost shamed in a way for when women exude this. It’s like you’re being bossy. Oftentimes when women are taking charge, oftentimes, they’re are known as being bossy or being too much. There’s this interesting imbalance. Men can easily embrace this masculinity or these masculine qualities, whereas when women want to embrace it, oftentimes it’s shamed.

When we’re talking about these areas are these aspects of masculinity, they are incredibly important. The masculine energy, the drive, the focus, the determination, the strength and the, “I’m going here,” that has been so important in where we are. Once upon a time, we were fighting just to survive. Once upon a time, we were trying to make sure that we had enough food on our table. We needed the energy of the masculine to go out and to hunt, to get the food and to bring it to us. The energy of the feminine is to hold the community space, to hold the tribe and the children and pull everyone together. We were fighting against the elements making sure that we had enough just to survive.

Redefining Masculinity

However, in this society, it’s completely different. In this society, we are no longer fighting just to survive. Yet there is this old story that’s been told. The story of scarcity, the story that is rooted in the fear that once upon a time served us well. However, as we become more balanced with nature even though most of us can argue that we’re coming on the other side of imbalance, as we become more comfortable and our ability just to survive here it’s important to remember that we no longer have to have this old story of making it happen and be our story. There’s something important here that needs or that can be addressed and can often have a lot of light shed on it, which is this idea that this concept of masculinity is oftentimes keeping us focused in this overdrive mode, and instead of allowing us to create this fluidity around moving in ebb and flow. It often can pull us away from our heart center. Something that Joe said that I would like to talk about, which is redefining masculinity helping us to connect to our heart.

The archetype of the rigid masculine is outdated and untrue. Click To Tweet

There’s a great documentary on Netflix if you haven’t watched it. It’s talking about the mask we live in. It’s about this old concept or this old story about what it is to be a man, that you need to grow up, be a man, don’t be a girl. Hide your emotions, toughen up. It’s this old story that we’ve needed for so long. However, as we come more into harmony with ourselves and one another, we can begin to realize that we no longer have to play that role of this mentality of needing to be hard. We no longer have to play this role of having to be this firm, solid structure without the ability to move in and out and weave in and out with our divine feminine because we both have masculine and feminine.

This old structure, this old story of what it means to be a man, this stoicism. The man comes, the man goes out and he provides for the woman, he comes back. In this place, it’s his job not to show emotions. How many of you as men were taught not to show emotion or that emotions make you weak or that you need to grow up? When you’re a young boy, you need to grow up. It’s incredibly important to bring awareness to the fact that whether you’re male or female or anything in between, emotions are okay. There’s been this old story for so long that emotions aren’t okay. That as a man, you’re allowed to feel anger and frustration, but when it comes to feeling sadness, feeling alone, feeling insecure, and feeling pain, you’re taught to hide those things because it makes you less of a man or it makes you weak. If you’ve ever felt those words or if you can feel this or you have felt this in your past, let me know.

Embody Your Truth

The archetype of the rigid masculine is outdated and untrue. What if we could change that? There’s this old story about you can’t feel your emotions, that it makes you less of who you are when you truly and authentically embody your truth. Whatever way shape or form it is, when you embody your truth, it makes you less of who you are supposed to be, of a man or whatever it is. This has been for so long as I continue to work with more and more men, and they start to come to me and say, “I’m feeling a lot but I’ve been taught my entire life that I need to push it down. I’ve been taught my entire life that if I show my authentic truth, then it’s going to make me vulnerable to others.” It’s going to make other people feel that they can take advantage of me because that’s another story that we’ve been told.

Another story we’ve been told is that there’s so much competition, that there’s not enough that instead of looking at someone and seeing them as your brother, you see them as your competition. Let me know if that’s been something that’s been the case for you. One comment says, “If anything did it more, it did more harm than good.” This old story, this old paradigm if you’ve ever felt like you had to compete for the job. You had to compete for the girl. You had to compete for the resources. You had to compete to be the class clown. In order to be popular, you have to compete on the sports team.

The truth is that we all have feelings and it is an incredibly powerful tool to be able to tap into those. Click To Tweet

I’m not saying that that competition isn’t good. Healthy competition is good, but I think it’s taken us to a point where it’s pulling us apart rather than helping us move together. This repression of allowing our men, our 21st Century men to allow them the space to feel and to be able to fully embody whatever it is that’s happening to them. Take a look at the divine feminine. The divine feminine is also within all of us. It’s our ability to feel. It’s our ability to connect. It’s our ability to heal. It’s our ability to express. When you’ve been taught for so long that it’s not okay to express and that it’s not okay to feel, then that is a repression and that’s pulling you apart from both sides of your authentic self. There’s a lot of shame that’s wrapped up in this.

How can we take this idea or how can we take this old story and bring light onto it? Then from that place begin to create a different story. Begin to create something that actually empowers you instead of dis-empowering you. I held a Men’s Circle and we talked about the old story about what it means to be a man and all of the weight that so many men have carried, but yet they’re not truly allowed to express it. Patriarchy has not only affected women, but it’s also affected our men. I don’t think that there’s a light being shined on that aspect.

There’s no light being shined on how this all model of what it is to be a man may be outdated. If there are so many men who are feeling like they can’t fully express themselves, they can’t fully be seen, and their raw authentic vulnerable expression of whoever it is and where they are, it’s inhibiting our evolution as a person, as an individual and also as a collective consciousness. This is a hard topic for me to talk about because I feel like there’s definitely going to be a lot of people who will resist that and there will also be people who understand it. Remember that the intention of this of this series is to shed some light on something and to give us an opportunity to change it. If you have anything that’s coming up for you, this is a conscious conversation. This is by no way a one-way street. I would love to continue to have your feedback in whatever way feels authentic to you.

Divine Masculine And Divine Feminine

When it comes to shame, what happened in my own life to make me want to start to shed light on this episode is that so many women in my health coaching practices, in my yoga practices and even in my meditation practices started to ask the question why. Why are there so many more women than there are men? It’s so important that we start to help each other. That we start to recognize that there is a divine masculine and a divine feminine within us all. When we can start to learn and accept our divine feminine as men accept our divine masculine as women, not only accept them but embrace them, we find unity within ourselves.

When we have this ability to go within ourselves and connect to the qualities of the divine masculine or the qualities of the divine feminine, and we begin to understand that both of them neither one nor the other is better or worse. We were created in this life with both of these characteristics, which are so opposite yet so beautifully intertwined. When we can learn to connect with both of those, when we can learn to unify both of those, that’s what creates a union. I feel like people in this life are dying to connect. We’re dying to connect with one another. We want to be seen, we want to be felt, we want to be heard. We want to be recognized, yet we can only connect to others as connected as we are to ourselves.

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity
Reclaiming Masculinity: Masculinity doesn’t have to just do with men.

 

If there is a part of us as a man that we’re only allowing ourselves to embody the masculine, we can only be tough, we can only be strong, we can only be direct, we can only be forceful, then we’re denying a part of ourselves and we’re unable to fully be seen. We’re unable to fully connect authentically to others who are here to connect to us as well. Many people in my private coaching practice for so long have all been women. I start to ask my peers, “What is your male to female ratio?” Whether it’s holistic health coaching or detoxes or yoga classes or whatever, why are there so many more women than there are men? Men have bodies too, men have feelings too. Why aren’t there more men coming forward and saying, “I want help?” It’s because we’ve taught them that it’s not okay.

We’ve taught them that it makes them less of a man if they show their full emotions and if they become authentic if they become vulnerable in their true expression of maybe not feeling secure. Maybe they have all the things on the outside, maybe they have the job, maybe they have the car, maybe they have the kids, whatever it is, whatever we’ve been taught and yet they feel so alone, empty and depressed on the inside. Whether you’re a female or male or anywhere in between, that can be your story. I think that’s the larger story that we’ve been taught what it means to be successful. We’re taught this from children. You need to go to school, you need to go to college and you need to get good grades. You need to get a partner and everything will be well, but what if it’s not? What if that’s not the story that is truly resonating with ourselves? This is so incredibly important. I think it’s so incredibly important to start to shine the light on.

For so long, we’ve needed to survive. We literally as human beings in this physical body, we’ve been built to survive, but no longer are we in that place. We are no longer in this place where scarcity is true. There is so much abundance around us that if we stopped operating and the scarcity mentality of, “I need to compete with you, I need to fight against you. I don’t want to be seen by you because you might take what I have,” what if we changed our mindset and started to have a heart-based mindset? There is so much abundance that it’s not about me competing with you. It’s not about you being better than me. It’s about us being different. It’s about us being able to offer something different to one another in different ways.

Truly and cynically embody your truth in whatever shape, way, or form. Click To Tweet

This old model of scarcity is outdated. The only way that we can start to change is when we start to understand that there is this divine masculine and this divine feminine within us all. In order to find unity, in order to connect and in order to truly feel that we are a part of something greater, we have to find a union within. We have to realize that whether you’re a female or a male, there is divine masculine, there is divine feminine. We have a choice when it comes to how we choose to model our idea of being human.

Why does it have to be this ideal role of a man, or this is the ideal role of a woman? Although these roles have served us for so long, now it’s different. We are evolving. Our consciousness is evolving. The roles are evolving. There are more women stepping into the workplace, pooling and holding the structure for their families. There are more women now embodying their divine masculine and helping to hold some of the weight for the males of our life. What if it was okay to relax a little as a male and not feel like you have to carry all the weight and all the pressures of needing to support the family, pull in more money, and all of the things that we’ve been taught that you need to do as a male in our society?

What if we began to relax and began to surrender into the fact that, whether you are male, female or anywhere in between, anyone has the ability to totally step into their divine essence of whether masculine or feminine? We’re beginning to wake up to our truth, that we have always been connected, to our truth that we have always had this beautiful connection with us, which is the most important connection in order to help us connect with others. The vulnerability is incredibly important when it comes to our conscious awakening. If we’re hiding behind these masks, what it means to be a woman or what it means to be a man, then we’re not being able to be authentically seen.

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity
Reclaiming Masculinity: When you show up in your radical authentic and vulnerable self, you give others permission to try.

 

Creating Space For The Masculine And The Feminine

We’re not being able to be authentically heard. We’re not able to truly connect with one another. All we really want regardless of where you are, regardless of what religion you believe in, what color of your skin is, is to feel that we can connect. In my practice, so many men have eventually come forward after hearing me talk about depression, stress, and how we can support one another. Many people are finally coming forward and saying, “I wanted to reach out to you but I was afraid. I had insecurities. I had fear because I was successful, but there was a lot of shame. I didn’t want to come forward because I didn’t want to be seen as weak.” What if expressing your authentic truth instead of being seen as weak is being seen as powerful? You’re taking a stand for everyone else to be able to be seen as well. Why do you feel like it’s been hard for you to be stuck? I’m curious from a male’s perspective, why you feel like it’s been hard, why it’s been challenging? How can we begin to allow ourselves to feel comfortable in that? It’s one thing to have this idea and then it’s another thing to actually begin to embody it, wouldn’t you agree? We can be idealists all the time, but then there’s something different when it comes to actually step up and own it.

One of the main things that we can do number one is to start creating space. When I held a Men’s Circle last month, it was incredible to see what happens when you give men space to talk and to feel. There’s so much that they want to share. There is so much that they want to feel, but it’s about shame. There’s been so much shame around not being able to fully feel, around pushing down your emotions, around, “Grow up, be a man.” When you talk about relationships, if we talk about relationships that you ask anyone, “What was the biggest challenge in your relationship meaning your romantic relationship?” Whether you’re in one or you’ve been in one, chances are it’s communication. Why do we think it’s so hard as women to get our men to communicate? We’ve taught them to it’s not okay to express their truth. We’ve taught them that it makes you less of a man if you’re feeling anything other but strong, stoic and you have to have your crap together. The truth is that we are all humans. The truth is that we all have feelings and it is an incredibly powerful tool to be able to tap into those and to be able to see these feelings and to be able to express these feelings. It’s incredibly powerful.

We are no longer in this place where scarcity is true. Click To Tweet

How can we begin to create space for one another to show up authentically? The most important thing is to begin to recognize and accept your own authentic expression. Whether you’re a female or a male of your divine masculine and your divine feminine, and the roles that both of them play. One creates structure and stability, sometimes even rigidity which is needed and the other creates this beautiful flow of movement and feelings and understanding that both of those are incredibly powerful, and beginning to come to a relationship with them within yourselves. The second thing that I think that we can do is begin to stand for not only ourselves and fully showing up authentically and expressing our vulnerability and expressing our truths, but also begin to stand in that when we are connecting with others.

When we begin to stand and when we begin to connect to ourselves in this raw and authentic space, when we begin to hold space for ourselves, we create the opportunity for others to be seen, to be heard, and to connect to their authentic expression as well. Whether you’re a woman or whether you’re a man or anywhere in between, whatever gender you associate yourself, being able to fully stand in and on whether it’s masculine traits or feminine traits or not even talking about the physical. I’m talking about the actual energetics.

It is so hard for me to talk about this. If I’m talking in front of a group of people, and I’m having a workshop, there’s no problem but when I’m here, it’s hard. As a woman, also talking about this, it’s incredibly challenging. I realize that there are going to be a lot of men saying, “Who is she to talk about masculinity?” The big thing that I want to drive home is that it doesn’t have to do with your gender. There is a divine masculine and feminine within us and for so long, we’ve made it shameful to embody your feminine expression and your emotions. I want to sit here and say, “I stand with you. All the men in this world, no matter who you are no matter where you are, if you’re feeling anything, especially the emotions of insecurity, fear, sadness and depression, I want to create space for you to be able to feel that and to feel okay in that. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel it, it gets stuck in the body and it gets stored. Thoughts are vibrations, they are energy. They get stuck in the body and they’re stored. They stagnate in your energy field. They create disease in the body.

One comment says, “I haven’t been comfortable based on fear because of past experiences. I feel like I have to fight to move forward on both aspects, masculine and feminine energies. I feel that I’m against the world because of the old paradigm.” What if we started to change that story? We’re doing it right now by coming out, by me coming out and saying it’s a vulnerable thing for me to talk about because I’m a woman talking about masculinity, talking about how I want to hold and how I am holding space for men. It is an incredibly challenging topic, but yet we’re all in it together. By coming out here and choosing to be a part of this conversation, by choosing how can you walk away from this conversation and embody, it’s self-acceptance. It’s accepting all character traits. It’s accepting all parts of you. When you accept all parts of you, when you learn to love all parts of you, your judgment goes away. Your need to compete goes away. Your fear of not being enough goes away.

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity
Reclaiming Masculinity: Patriarchy has not only affected women but it’s also affected our men.

 

Collective Consciousness

All of these things that we create outside ourselves, the scarcity mentality, the fear-based mentality, that’s taught to keep us stuck. It’s taught because when we come together as a collective, there’s so much love and so much is possible. Yet, if we keep this repression, “We need to compete. We need to separate,” that’s not enough mentality and it keeps us separate and it keeps us weak. I do believe that at the end of the day, what is this all about? It’s about evolving human consciousness. It’s about understanding the power that we have within us to expand our own consciousness and in that space, be able to expand the consciousness of everyone else, which is a union. What is that? Collective consciousness is this union. You’re a part of this collective shift. By being able and being vulnerable, being seen, other people will see that and will feel that it’s okay for them too. Gandhi said it best, it is so true, “In order to have change, be the change.”

When we step forward and we come out and we are vulnerable, it helps us understand that we’re not alone. In that space of understanding that we’re not alone, we have the ability to come together and change the story. Cry, it is so beautiful to be able to cry. This is an incredible release of emotions. It’s been over so long. It’s been okay for women to cry but not for men. I’ll tell you something. When you’re in a relationship as a woman, when you’re in a relationship with a man and you’re trying to break the walls of the heart, who here wants to break their walls of their heart so they can be cracked open and fully let love in? If you want your heart to be open and allow all the love in the world, let me know that I’m not alone. We all have walls. We have these walls that have been built up since we were childhood and way before in our ancestry walls.

This is for the men. When you’re in a relationship with a woman and the woman is consistently trying to get through, break down the walls but the man is taught, “You need to be guarded, you need to be stoic, you need to hold it all in.” The first time your man cries, you’re like, “Thank, God. I’m finally let in. Thank you.” I know that that’s been my story. The moment that my man has the powerful vulnerability to be able to let his walls down and to let me fully see him in his authentic state and truly show me how much he cares, I’m like, “Thank you for letting me see you. Thank you for letting me feel you. Thank you for letting me hold you.” Just as much as it feels good to stand strong, it feels good to be held and we all deserve to be held.

People in this life are dying to connect. We want to be seen, felt, heard, and recognized. Click To Tweet

How many women have been in that boat? How many women have been in the boat of feeling for your man, a feeling that there’s so much going on, there’s so much emotion whether it’s the mother’s death, or there’s work stress or pressure? Instead of allowing him to fully be seen, he closes up and closes off. All you want to do is be there for him. All you want to do is cry for him or shake him and say, “It’s okay.” I cannot tell you how many men have come to me in different ways in different areas and said, “How do I allow myself to feel? Because I’ve been conditioned from my father and from their father, and for so long that it’s not okay. How do we even begin to touch into that part of myself because I feel it? I know it’s there and I have no idea how to even begin to access it.” This is a lot of the messages that I get from men who are finally starting to open up and feel comfortable coming to me. It’s the exact alignment of what I am moving through here and the rising of authenticity and the balance in the masculine and feminine.

When I was in Nicaragua, there was such an imbalance of masculine and feminine energy. A lot of other countries, there’s a big imbalance of the masculine overpowering and overbearing. That’s the shadow side of the masculine. The light side of the masculine, the divine side of the masculine is strong and stable, but not overbearing and not needing to use the power to access. We all need that. However, oftentimes it’s unbalanced and it’s in that unbalance, not only do we feel disconnected as an individual but as a collective, we feel disconnected. What we truly want is to come back together as a whole. When you’re in a relationship, whatever gender you’re in, there’s generally a masculine or feminine polarity. When we come together is when we feel that union. When you practice Tantra, it’s this union of divine feminine divine masculine coming together in balance, which is what creates unity.

This is a conscious conversation where you deserve to create. The intention of this is to create a safe space where you can be heard. Where if you’re tired of the old story of you needing to be a certain way in order to embody your truth, as a man in the 21st Century, you have a choice. For so long, we maybe didn’t have a choice because we were living in scarcity. We were just trying to survive. That is no longer our choice. That is no longer our truth. We have a choice, and if you want to begin to create this space to embrace and embody your authentic truth, I give you that permission and you should give yourself that permission as well. Coming to someone and just starting to talk about these things that have been repressed, that have been taught by our fathers and our forefathers, starting to bring light to these things starting to realize that whether male or female, we have the ability to hold space for another. That’s what this is all about.

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity
Reclaiming Masculinity: How we choose to show up for ourselves and for others everyday allows the story to be different.

 

For so long we’ve been taught that women need to feel safe and that you, men, need to take care of us. I’m here to stand on the opposite side and say, “What about helping our men feel safe in expressing their authentic vulnerability and finding strength in that?” Who’s here to stand on that side of the fence? I’m cheering for us all as a collective consciousness to come together and realize the power that we have when we embrace both sides of our being, male, female or anywhere in between. I’m cheering for the collective consciousness to come together and realize that we are creating our story. Every moment of every day, how we choose to show up for ourselves and how we choose to show up for others allows the story to be different.

It is so scary being a female and say, “I’m going to stand for the men. I’m going to embody my divine masculine, stand strong, stand with the men, and I’m going to allow myself to be seen.” Many men have been hearing my message, but they’re afraid to be seen. They’re afraid to come to me, they’re afraid to ask for support. They’re afraid to be, “I realize that there’s some shit that I want to work through that I’m tired of holding it in. I’ve been taught that I had to hold it in so long.” Whether they’re CEOs of incredibly high-level companies or whether they’re just your average person doing whatever it is that they love doing, artists or whatever, they’ve been conditioned to be afraid, to express their authentic and vulnerable truth. I’m creating this space where you can do that where no matter who you are, no matter where you are, we can come together and change our story. As beings in this time period, we have more time than we ever have in our entire lives. That’s true. Even though we tell ourselves the story that we don’t have enough time, we no longer need to take ten hours just to put food on our table so that we can continue to survive.

In that, there is so much possibility. In that, we can begin to dive deeper into what our fullest potential is because we’re no longer needing just to survive. We’re able to literally begin to expand our consciousness and dive into our potential of divine creators which we all are. Until we come together as masculine and feminine in a ball of shame and get rid of this fear which I’m going to talk about how we can redefine fear. Redefine it and then we can come together as masculine and feminine, and realize that power and the strength that we have. Not feeling emasculated if our woman is taking charge and steering the ship. Understanding that at every moment we have a choice. All the men who have shown up here, look at all the women who are here to support you. There are so many women who are also saying, “Yes, we want to hold space for you. We want to empower you to allow yourself to be seen.”

It feels good to be held and we all deserve that. Click To Tweet

The real strength lies in vulnerability and authenticity. I want to thank every single person who has been a part of this conversation for every person who shares this. I want to thank you because there is a huge movement happening. It’s incredibly scary for me to come on here and to share this. It is incredibly vulnerable for me to come on here, and I want to say thank you for every person who’s reading. We can abolish shame by allowing ourselves to be seen. If anybody is making you feel any less of a person, that is because of their own insecurities. When we have this harmony between embodying my divine feminine, embodying my divine masculine and embodying my fullest expression of myself, it doesn’t matter what other people say. It doesn’t matter what other people feel or what they say about me because I am whole. As we come together and we create this conscious conversation, it’s time to take conscious action.

Dan is a private client of mine and I gave him an activity to do already. We work on mindfulness-based practices every week and it’s so powerful because I’ve already given him an exercise and I want everybody to have a tool to walk away with. It’s one thing to bring awareness. Awareness is the first step to transformation. The second thing is we have to have tools to implement to help us get from where we are to where we want to be. That is the power of the masculine. Number one, I invite you to share this message. If you share this message, more people can start to relate. More people can start to see it. More people can start to feel seen and that’s going to help to expand consciousness.

Number two, ask yourself, “How can I begin to see myself more fully? How can I begin to accept myself and my authentic expression more fully? How can I begin to feel myself more authentically in the places that maybe I have been pushing down because I’m afraid to go, because society or whatever has told me that it’s not manly or it’s not okay?” Create space for yourself to feel men and women. Give yourself that permission. When you give yourself space to heal, you allow this stuck energy, this bullshit story, to begin to dissipate.

DFP 3 | Reclaiming Masculinity
Reclaiming Masculinity: It doesn’t have to do with your gender. There is divine masculine and feminine with us all.

 

The third thing is, how can you allow yourself to be more authentically seen by others? Maybe there’s something that you’ve wanted to tell someone for a long time but you were too afraid. I invite you every single person to stand together and abolish shame by being more authentic. When you show up in your radical authentic self, vulnerable self, you give others permission to do. Do you know what happens in that place? Connection. What we’re all craving for, yet are too afraid to fully step into because of old stories about what’s right and what’s wrong and old conditioning.

Every single person who’s here, who’s joining me from around the world, we are changing our consciousness and we are creating a different vibration, not only for ourselves but for our community and for our children and for the world’s evolution to come. I applaud every single man here. My heart goes out to you. It’s gone out to so many men. Many men have come to me and shared this truth with me, these truths that they were too afraid to share with other people because they didn’t want to feel like any less of a man. I’m here to say that we have the ability to stand together, change that story and we are. You are supported. We begin to let down our walls. We begin to create the space to support one another and change the story, to begin to empower us as a collective.

This is part one of a three-part series. Thank you so much. In the beginning, I was like, “I’m so nervous, what am I doing?” Some people might not know me and they were like, “Who were you to think that you know?” That’s okay. That’s an ego thing. It’s not about me. It has nothing to do with me. This whole conversation has absolutely nothing to do with me. I never in a million years would have dreamed of talking about divine masculine and feminine and how I’m standing for men. I never would have thought that that would have been my path. When my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I said a dancer or something. I didn’t say that I wanted to do men’s work and help men reconnect to themselves so that we can all connect to one another in a more loving and compassionate way. I never thought that that would be my truth.

We can only connect to others as we are connected to ourselves. Click To Tweet

Please, by all means, I hope that everyone here, my biggest intention is to hold space and to hold the safe container so that we can begin to see ourselves and feel ourselves and move through our old stories that no longer serve us, so that we can fully begin to embody the fullest expression of what’s our human potential as divine beings and divine creators. I love this conversation. It’s something I’m incredibly passionate about and something I’m incredibly afraid as well. I would be lying if I didn’t say I was incredibly afraid of stepping into this role of a divine feminine holding space for the divine masculine. I feel that it’s something that I don’t have a choice at this point. Obviously, it’s needed. Share this message. Please join me for the part two. Share this with anyone: your fathers, your brothers, your husbands, your sisters, whoever it is that you feel could resonate, want and could use connecting to this important conscious message.

I want this to be a conscious community discussion about how we can help each other change the world for the better. That is my only intention. Men, you are so powerful. I felt your strength and I felt your vulnerability. Thank you. May we abolish shame by allowing ourselves to be seen. May we abolish shame by allowing ourselves to ask for help. May we abolish shame by standing in our truths and understanding that when we stand in our truth, we have the ability to fully be seen by one another and to connect more deeply than we’ve ever imagined.

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